6 Signs You're A High Maintenance Parent

The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation,By knowing your expected family contribution before
are entering college in increasing numbers. Getting intoapplying, you save yourself from the potential
the best schools is increasingly competitive. Havingsurprise of getting an award letter with less aid then
good grades, a great SAT score and participating inyou were expecting. And make sure you research
extracurricular activities is no assurance that yourthe college's financial aid policy to know if you have a
student will get into the school of their choice.circumstance that would cause the school to revisit
Because of that phenomenon, parents are taking ayour award letter.
much more active role in their children's college5. Have you talked to your attorney about suing your
admission process. But for some parents, participationchild's high school because she did not get the special
in their child's college search has led to a troublingattention she needed in high school, and thus, will not
development that college admissions officers arebe able to attend the university of her choice?
seeing more frequently.Be an active parent throughout your child's education,
It is the High Maintenance Parent (HMP). And collegedon't start in her senior year as she applies to
admissions officers are reporting it more and more. Ifcolleges. The reality is, at that point it's too late. If
you answer yes to any of these six questions, youshe needs special attention in high school make sure
may be a High Maintenance Parent.she gets it.
1. Does your child barely know what's on their college6. Have you asked the guidance counselor at the high
application but you can quote every word in theirschool to purge evidence of cheating, truancy or
personal essay (because you wrote it)?other discipline problems from your child's record in
Students who don't take an active role in theirorder to increase their chance of getting into the
college planning and admission process tend not to becollege of their choice? If so, you are DEFINITELY a
successful in college. Students need to takeHigh Maintenance Parent!
ownership of the process because it's their future onYou put your child and all other students applying
the line. It's time to cut the umbilical cord and let littlefrom that high school at risk by asking guidance
Johnny fail or succeed. In the end it's a disservice tocounselors to lie by omission. If admissions personnel
your child if you do the work for him.find that student records are being sanitized, they
2. Is the admissions officer at the school of yourcan refuse to admit anyone from a particular high
choice on your speed dial and recognizes your voiceschool.
or phone number when you call?College admissions is a competitive process with each
You want your child to be memorable, not you. Don'tparty looking to get the best result. Admissions
be a pest. It can count against your child.officers are responsible for admitting a diverse
3. Are you asking (or telling) your child to apply tostudent body. They want students that will reflect
schools that they are not interested in just so YOUthe values of the institution and who will be a
can brag that they got into Harvard, Stanford, etc?positive contribution to the student body. Now, while
It's hard enough for your child to do everythingthey are still in your house, is the time to impart
necessary to apply to college without the addedthose values and position your child to be an asset to
stress of completing applications for schools theythe student body.
don't want to go to. This is not the time to reliveBalanced against the school's needs is the student's
your past or try to out-Jones the Joneses'.desire to be admitted. The best way for you to help
4. Is your "back-up" strategy for financial aid to tellyour child is by being an advocate and mentor, but
the financial aid officer that your child is so smart,realize, ultimately the decision and experience of
talented, etc that they should pay you to LET yourcollege will be up to your child.
child attend XYZ University?Copyright © 2004. All Rights Reserved.