Helping Your Teen Handle College Rejection

Who wants to be rejected? None of us do, but fortest scores. What often times gives one student an
teenagers it may be especially painful. Many uponedge over another is nothing any student can control.
receiving the letter that begins "I am sorry to informIf a college wants more students from the
you" are devastated. They have spent four yearsNorthwest and you live in Kansas, that won't be in
studying hard, did test prep for the SAT and ACT,your favor. If they need more students on the
joined activities and became leaders, and poured outdebate team and your strength is drama, there may
their hearts on the applications and essays. Whybe other students who better fit the school's needs.
wasn't that enough to get accepted?Help students understand that college decisions are
Dealing with college rejection isn't easy for anyone,often subjective and can appear very random.
parents and students alike. High school seniors who4. Contact any school where you have been rejected
applied to more competitive schools will probablyimmediate. Be honest and ask if they can give you
experience more rejection than those students whoany specific reasons as to weaknesses in your
applied to schools that were less difficult. Butapplication. If you are wait-listed, indicate that you
rejection still hurts. Here are a few tips to helpare still very interested in the school and want to
parents and students handle those college rejectionknow whether there is anything you can do to
letters.strengthen your chances for admission. Perhaps, an
1. Let students express their emotions and listen toadditional essay might be helpful. What about retaking
them. When students have their hearts set onthe SAT or ACT? Never hesitate to send a college
particular colleges, rejection signifies to them thatimproved semester grades or awards that you
they are probably not good enough for any school.receive. Colleges want to hear from students, not
Obviously, they are going to feel upset and this is toparents.
be expected. Let them talk about it as much as they5. Focus on your other college choices. There will be
wish so their emotions are not bottled up inside.other acceptances and some may even be better
Parents should listen, not advise.options for you. Colleges want students who are
2. Put the college admissions process in perspective.resilient and this is a chance for you to demonstrate
For most students, this is their first experience withthat important quality. Look at the positives that
putting themselves out there for someone to judge.each school offers and why it might be a good fit
With college competition as it is, there are simply toofor your personality. Consider a college visit to see
many well qualified students applying to schools withhow the other schools compare. Be open to
too few spots available. As a parent, beopportunities and keep in mind that there are other
understanding and compassionate in yourcolleges where you can have a happy and successful
conversation.experience. Parents should remind students of their
3. Admissions decisions should not be takenstrengths and what they can bring to a college
personally. Most of the time, students applying tocampus. It's not too late to put together a plan and
competitive schools have similar grades, courses, andget started (again).