| Someone may have told you that when writing your | | | | but can't support it, your argument is less compelling. |
| college essay, you should use language that shows, | | | | How can you incorporate this knowledge into your |
| not tells. What does this mean? Compare the | | | | college essay? First, you should now see that it's |
| following two descriptions of the same event. | | | | very important to not make statements that aren't |
| The family called me to the house because their child | | | | backed up in some way. You can't simply say: "You |
| was very sick. They were poor but very polite. They | | | | should admit me to your college because I truly |
| were nervous when I arrived.vs. | | | | understand the meaning of diversity." You have to |
| On my way up the steps to the front door, I noticed | | | | tell us a story that proves your understanding: for |
| that one of the boards was loose and the paint was | | | | example, the lessons you learned about another |
| chipping. The mother was waiting for me. "Doctor, | | | | culture by tutoring a fellow student who had just |
| thank you so much for coming," she said. Silently, she | | | | arrived from Mexico. |
| led me into what appeared to be the only bedroom | | | | That may seem obvious, but if you examine your |
| in the house. In the dim light, I could make out a | | | | essay closely you'll likely find some examples of |
| tired, flushed child underneath a dirty comforter. "I-I'm | | | | "telling" that are more subtle. Consider a sentence like: |
| sorry," the mother stammered. "We aren't exactly | | | | "I couldn't hide my excitement," and imagine how |
| set up for company." | | | | much better it would be if instead the writer |
| The first passage simply states what happened, but | | | | described how he jumped up and down or had a |
| the second passage (which shows) gives the reader | | | | huge grin. |
| a much more vivid picture. The second passage | | | | Once you have a rough draft of your essay, you'll |
| provides us with all the information in the first and | | | | want to examine every sentence and ask: "Can I do |
| more. We see through the doctor's eyes as if we | | | | a better job of showing this information?" Of course, |
| were in the room--we have the proof that the child | | | | showing sometimes (but not always) leads to a |
| is sick, and that the family is poor and nervous. | | | | longer essay. Since admissions essays are so short, |
| Because of this vantage point, the reader can | | | | you may only be able to show the most important |
| construct an interpretation of the event just like the | | | | parts of your essay, the places where you need to |
| doctor does. Writing that shows is sometimes | | | | be the most vivid and convincing. However, if you do |
| described as "writing like a camera": it focuses simply | | | | go on longer because of showing, that's not entirely |
| on what happened and doesn't try to explain it. | | | | a bad thing: showing usually makes for more |
| You can think of showing as like building a house--you | | | | interesting writing that better holds the reader's |
| take the raw materials of the experience (the basic | | | | attention. |
| facts and sensory details) and from these simple | | | | Summary: |
| building blocks create something much larger. This | | | | - Telling simply states what happened, showing gives |
| contributes to the believability of the writing: readers | | | | a vivid picture. |
| take in the situation themselves and come to their | | | | - Telling makes an assertion, showing provides the |
| own conclusions. | | | | reader with the proof. |
| You can also think of showing as being similar to | | | | - To show, try writing like a camera. Just give us the |
| writing a good argumentative essay. If you're going | | | | scene without explaining the meaning. |
| to argue that oil companies are harming the | | | | - Be sure to back up any statements you make in |
| environment, you need to back up your view with | | | | your essay, and provide specific examples that will |
| hard data, linking the actions of the companies to | | | | convince the reader. |
| signs of environmental damage. If you make a claim | | | | |