| So the cliche rings out: "Nice Guys Finish Last." When | | | | strength-of character. This brings to mind a story |
| this expression was coined by the famous baseball | | | | that happened to me when I was about fourteen |
| coach Leo Durocher, what he meant was that | | | | years old. My friends and I were playing a game of |
| winning requires toughness, ruthlessness, and | | | | touch football on my street in Brooklyn. An older guy, |
| singleness of mind in order that one aspire to | | | | about mid-twenties, was playing with us. He was on |
| champion status. We all want to win and be | | | | my team. At one point in the game, a player from |
| champions-at least on a conscious level. However, | | | | the opposing side was running with the ball toward |
| losing is also part of life and we need to deal with | | | | me and made a quick slithering move as I went to |
| this aspect at times. What has happened with this | | | | tag him. I only got one hand on him-not the two |
| statement is that it has been accepted by the | | | | necessary to stop the play. I told the truth and |
| populace as a truism. Yet is it really true? If you are | | | | admitted that I only got one hand on him. As a |
| nice, does this imply that you must necessarily finish | | | | result, the play moved further up the field, where my |
| last? Most people give a knee-jerk response to this | | | | older teammate tagged the opposing player. My older |
| statement without really contemplating its true import | | | | teammate pulled me aside and told me that I was |
| or implications. This statement, along with bromides | | | | going to have problems in the world if I was so |
| like "It's a dog-eat-dog world," serve only both to | | | | honest all the time. To him, I exhibited weakness of |
| disempower and force us to believe in false doctrines | | | | character. Basically, he was saying that if I was going |
| established by society. | | | | to be such a nice guy, then I was going to finish last. |
| The current times have brought with them a plethora | | | | Well, I look at my life in retrospect and I have to |
| of unforseen ills, maladies, misfortunes, and | | | | admit that I find it very hard not to be nice. I have |
| tribulations. We have come to believe that in order to | | | | been accused many times, even by people who |
| avoid these hostile environments, we must be tough, | | | | know me well, that I am too nice all the time. |
| hard, and mean. True, for some the world is great | | | | Without going into detail here, I must admit that I |
| and it should be very easy to be nice. Yet is this the | | | | have suffered many times as a result of being a nice |
| case? We believe this when we watch the television | | | | guy. Sometimes the results of this action have |
| parading in front of our faces the celebrities and | | | | caused me tremendous suffering, which is always |
| stars that inhabit tinseltown. We think-myself | | | | enhanced further when I get bombarded by yet |
| included-"Boy, what a life. How come my life isn't like | | | | another media blast showing how the better half |
| that one's?" What is seen in general is the "greener | | | | lives. This compels me to think, "Maybe if I weren't |
| grass," not the behind-the-scenes stuff that | | | | so nice, I could have had a life like that." Yet I |
| adversely affects the lives of these people as well. | | | | wouldn't trade being this way for the world, as I |
| All have problems even though we might want to | | | | know-not just intuitively but also from practical |
| believe otherwise. I still can't understand why most | | | | experience-that to be any other way would be |
| of these "beautiful people" can't stay married for too | | | | wrong. Indeed the few times I tried to be "not so |
| long even though they seem to have everything | | | | nice a guy" and untrue to myself, I always had this |
| they want. If money and stardom were the road to | | | | backfire on me, and the resulting humiliation and |
| happiness then why do so many of these stars end | | | | feelings of foolishness were far worse than any |
| up in failed marriages? and why should there ever be | | | | suffering as a result of doing the right thing. In this |
| an instance of some being not so nice? | | | | respect, I've always finished first. And with all my |
| The broader point here is that "niceness" in people | | | | imperfections and weaknesses of character, I know |
| has been equated to weakness- rather than | | | | that in God's eyes, nice guys finish first. |