| Congratulations on your move toward a
| |
| | ___ By opening the essays with a
|
| college degree. And congratulations on
| |
| | metaphor, a narrative, or appropriate
|
| seeking support for writing your
| |
| | facts and statistics that will make the
|
| admissions essay/personal statement. The
| |
| | essay(s) stand out, appeal to the board,
|
| squeaky motor gets the oil, so you will
| |
| | and give those readers something
|
| be slick and running sleekly in a just a
| |
| | interesting...you have a better chance of
|
| few days...in plenty of time to submit
| |
| | them saying to each other, "Hey, did you
|
| and relax before transferring from a
| |
| | read that Joe Blow essay?" and of them
|
| community college or crossing over from
| |
| | putting it in the "YES" pile.
|
| high school to higher learning.
| |
| | Consider this: what running theme(s)
|
| While the application and entry process
| |
| | would best represent you? For example,
|
| is exciting, it is also rigorously
| |
| | would you, like Helen Zhang did, use a
|
| demanding... when it comes to writing the
| |
| | water metaphor to represent your
|
| prompted essays. But instead of getting
| |
| | immigrating from a country where you were
|
| intimidated, remember, it is a process
| |
| | going with the flow of running your own
|
| with a series of many laps around the
| |
| | company, then moved to a country where
|
| track. Do the steps one at a time, on
| |
| | you started over, re-built the ship from
|
| time, and even ahead of time; be just as
| |
| | scratch, beat the hell out of those
|
| rigorous as the entry requirements are;
| |
| | choppy stormy seas, and are now sailing,
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| and use the following as a checklist
| |
| | headed for helping others to row to safe
|
| throughout the entire personal statement
| |
| | shores?
|
| writing process, and you will create a
| |
| | Or would you, like Celestino Garcia, use
|
| worthy piece of writing that will
| |
| | a food/feeding metaphor to show how
|
| smoothly slide you right into the
| |
| | getting your fingers broken by a cruel
|
| institution of your choice.
| |
| | (and insane) uncle who then forced you to
|
| 1. Use that fine machine (your head): get
| |
| | do farm work and refused to feed you has
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| ahead, start ahead.
| |
| | instead driven you to culinary school, to
|
| ___Start early. If they application and
| |
| | prepare lovely meals for feeding today's
|
| essay are due in three months, start
| |
| | children even worse off than he was
|
| working on it in two.
| |
| | without food?
|
| 2. Start small.
| |
| | Or do you prefer to open with a
|
| ___If the task seems overwhelming, choose
| |
| | description, as Sarah Choi did, for
|
| an easy, quick, or interesting part of
| |
| | example, of living in the projects,
|
| the task. Then you will have a momentum
| |
| | looking through a cracked window at the
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| that will push you forward into the
| |
| | police lights every night you sat to do
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| larger, more time consuming tasks. For
| |
| | grade school homework-till one day you
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| example, you know your name, address, and
| |
| | made it out, still keeping in mind (and
|
| (maybe) what you want to major in. Fill
| |
| | writing it back in at the end of your
|
| out the application.
| |
| | essay) the sirens and lights and project
|
| 3. Read X3 before you start to build.
| |
| | life from whence you came, so you can,
|
| ___The first time, read the directions
| |
| | when you graduate, return to the projects
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| and the prompt choices for the personal
| |
| | and aid others in escaping the flashing
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| statement(s) you have to write as if you
| |
| | lights and flashes of gunfire?
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| are reading a magazine for fun.
| |
| | 8. You've got their attention. Now make
|
| ___The second time, read the prompt
| |
| | your point. Boldly.
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| choices as if you are reading a catalog
| |
| | ___Here's where your thesis comes in.
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| and shopping for the one (best) item
| |
| | Once you have used an original
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| (prompt).... Choose the one topic that
| |
| | description, metaphor, statistic, fact,
|
| you feel you have the most to write on,
| |
| | or definition to open, wrap up the intro
|
| the one you like, the one you are drawn
| |
| | with a declarative, confident statement.
|
| to.
| |
| | For example,
|
| ___The third time, read with a
| |
| | "This is why I want to attend Oxford."
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| highlighter or pen: highlight or
| |
| | will not help you make your way into
|
| underline the key words in the prompt's
| |
| | Oxford. Again, it's obvious you want to
|
| introductory sentences and the key action
| |
| | attend/be accepted, and that's not reason
|
| words (those words that tell you to do
| |
| | enough to be accepted.
|
| something). For example, if the prompt
| |
| | But "With this experience, with excellent
|
| reads as follows, you would mark it like
| |
| | grades, with a steady volunteer record,
|
| this [I use brackets here for
| |
| | and with a pro-active attitude, I will
|
| highlighting]:
| |
| | make dynamic, positive, and supportive
|
| ...Is there [anything] you would like us
| |
| | contributions to the community at Oxford,
|
| to know [about you or your academic
| |
| | and later, to the community at large."
|
| record] that you have not had the
| |
| | will give you the horsepower you need to
|
| opportunity to [describe] elsewhere in
| |
| | finish the essay and to get accepted.
|
| this application? What is [your intended
| |
| | 9. You've done the hard part. Follow
|
| major]? [Discuss] [how your interest in
| |
| | through to the finish.
|
| the field developed] and [describe] any
| |
| | ___The body of your essay will now have
|
| [experience you have had in the field] -
| |
| | the theme/line of reasoning it needs to
|
| such as volunteer work, internships and
| |
| | follow. If it helps, print the thesis in
|
| employment - and what you have gained
| |
| | large lettering, and tape this up, too.
|
| from your involvement....
| |
| | It is the main point you will now prove
|
| 4. Make notes...and make them visible.
| |
| | with examples of
|
| ___You now have the (five, here) parts to
| |
| | __your g.pa.
|
| list on a big piece of paper or cardboard
| |
| | __your outstanding performance awards
|
| that you then prop up or tape up on your
| |
| | __your volunteer experience (where, when,
|
| wall or pc. (I always do this-tape the
| |
| | etc.)
|
| required points on my computer; then I
| |
| | __your tutoring, interning, or
|
| can constantly refer to it as I am
| |
| | work-related experience
|
| writing. It keeps me on track-on topic.)
| |
| | __your influences/reasons for getting
|
| 5. Consider your audience.
| |
| | into the field
|
| ___As with any writing, you decide your
| |
| | __any points the prompt asks for
|
| tone based on who will be reading the
| |
| | 10. Accelerate using anything you have
|
| work. In this case, you are submitting
| |
| | know/have done.
|
| to a committee of readers who read stacks
| |
| | The support (body of the essay) is most
|
| and stacks of these things. So...
| |
| | important nowadays, to give you the boost
|
| 6. Be real. Be honest. Be engaging.
| |
| | you need to compete. For instance, a
|
| Be positive. Be fresh.
| |
| | number of schools/majors are impacted.
|
| I know, I know. I hate it too when
| |
| | Computers and business, for example, have
|
| someone tells me to be myself. (Who else
| |
| | students neck-and-neck in fierce
|
| would I be?) The point is to avoid
| |
| | competition for a seat in the department.
|
| pretense, avoid b.s. (lies), and avoid
| |
| | So when there are 500 applicants with the
|
| whining, begging, and angry, bitter,
| |
| | same 4.0 g.p.a, the same awards, and the
|
| resentful tirades.
| |
| | same backgrounds and work experience, you
|
| The readers want to know who you are, how
| |
| | need to use facts (no b.s., made-up
|
| you would fit, and what you would bring
| |
| | stuff) that will give you the extra
|
| to the university.
| |
| | speed. This is why tutoring tales help.
|
| ___Brainstorm a list of true details,
| |
| | This where volunteering cranks up the
|
| writing them on the left side of a piece
| |
| | volume. This is where you use what you
|
| of paper. On the right side, note next
| |
| | can to race ahead. As long as it's
|
| to each item how that makes you a perfect
| |
| | truth-based. If they ask for two letters
|
| candidate for the place. (The left side
| |
| | of recommendation, send three. If they
|
| is negative, too. The right side is the
| |
| | ask for one way you will contribute to
|
| balance, turning the negatives into
| |
| | the university, give them two: you will
|
| positives.)
| |
| | help in the department, assisting the
|
| 7. Engage.
| |
| | professors (for free); and you will tutor
|
| Granted, when we writers begin drafting,
| |
| | those struggling in a (related) subject
|
| we may not necessarily begin with the
| |
| | you are fortunate to do well in.
|
| opening paragraph. We scribble the lines
| |
| | 10. But how do you come in 1st and keep
|
| we remember, the body, the conclusion,
| |
| | the rules of the road?
|
| topic sentences, important buzz words, or
| |
| | Here's where revising, revising, and
|
| anything else that comes to mind. But
| |
| | revising again comes in. First, write
|
| when you do get to the opener, it must be
| |
| | all you can, all you want, all you know.
|
| as outstanding, alluring, inviting, and
| |
| | Then, go back and check those
|
| original as possible.
| |
| | instructions. How many pages must you
|
| I promise I know what I'm talking about
| |
| | use? What size font?
|
| here. As a/an (former) Associate
| |
| | ___Usually, you have a page limit that
|
| Professor of college English, I assisted
| |
| | you must not go over.
|
| hundreds of students with both graduate
| |
| | ___At the same time, you must cover 3-4
|
| and undergraduate application packets and
| |
| | areas in your essay.
|
| processes--teaching workshops on the
| |
| | ___Follow the
|
| entrance essays, tutoring students in the
| |
| | instructions-to...the...letter. (This
|
| complete process in the colleges'
| |
| | will also give you an advantage, for the
|
| learning centers, even receiving students
| |
| | instructions are there not just to get to
|
| in my home (where they still continue to
| |
| | know you but to test whether you are
|
| approach me for consultation and
| |
| | adept at following instructions.)
|
| support).
| |
| | ___Don't give the readers any excuse
|
| So I have seen/see many students get
| |
| | reason to eliminate you.
|
| accepted to Berkeley, Cornell, Stanford,
| |
| | ___Tighten your text. This is covered in
|
| State, and other private and public
| |
| | the Mechanics section below.
|
| institutions-based on their essays, which
| |
| | 11. Keep that machine well-oiled: use
|
| I helped them to write and (ugh) rewrite
| |
| | your pit mechanics.
|
| using the standards and guidelines of the
| |
| | ___Revise the opener. Make sure it is
|
| major institutions of higher learning
| |
| | fresh, engaging, relevant.
|
| (and this handy manual of caveats I have
| |
| | ___Revise the thesis. Be sure it's
|
| compiled over the years). And those
| |
| | complete and expresses the general point.
|
| essays start with unique, engaging
| |
| | ___Revise the body (supporting evidence).
|
| intros-that follow these tricks:
| |
| | Check that it addresses part of the
|
| ___Get rid of all abstractions (now also
| |
| | prompt. (This is another "test"-does the
|
| considered clichés in the academic
| |
| | applicant cover all parts of the
|
| arena...since they have been driven into
| |
| | question?)
|
| the ground by overuse). Avoid using the
| |
| | ___Rev. the paragraphs and transitions
|
| "success" "achieve" "lifelong dream"
| |
| | between paragraphs. Be sure each is
|
| terms, words, and phrases. The panel
| |
| | coherent, and that all are organized and
|
| knows you want/need these. They expect
| |
| | connected, and therefore easy to follow.
|
| it is a given, and would probably have
| |
| | ___Rev. the sentences. Use variety.
|
| group heart attacks if someone wrote he
| |
| | Combine sentences for rhythm and flow.
|
| she was applying to be unsuccessful, to
| |
| | ___Rev. the diction. Get rid of useless
|
| achieve nothing, and to listlessly idle,
| |
| | words, extra words, abstract words. This
|
| having no dream whatsoever. (Okay, you
| |
| | is where you will be able to shorten the
|
| get my point, right?)
| |
| | essay.
|
| ___Erase the "I am an immigrant who needs
| |
| | ___Revise the spelling. Do not rely on
|
| to make my parents proud" clichés. (I
| |
| | the pc spellchecker! It is two e-z to
|
| promise you, this strategy is empty and
| |
| | Miss homonyms and readers will not be
|
| useless. I have received students
| |
| | able to bare it!
|
| needing entry essay help who are
| |
| | ___Revise the punctuation. Get a tutor
|
| immigrants, children of immigrants,
| |
| | for this if you need to.
|
| products of immigrant DNA, victims of
| |
| | ___Use human mechanics, too. We have
|
| immigrant mentality....every first draft
| |
| | brains that are set up so perfectly that
|
| I read started with this kind of intro.
| |
| | they do this thing called
|
| And I've only helped about 500 students
| |
| | hypercorrection. So when we read our own
|
| with this exact same opener. Imagine the
| |
| | drafts, our brains insist on
|
| weary tsk-ing and head shaking of the
| |
| | automatically correcting and reading as
|
| board member who reads thousands!)
| |
| | correct text that has errors in it. How
|
| The bottom line is this: asking to be
| |
| | do you fix this? Have someone else read
|
| admitted because you experienced--and are
| |
| | the work aloud. You listen carefully.
|
| slamming the board with--a number of
| |
| | When the reader stumbles, pauses, or does
|
| boo-hoo poor me hardships is the same as
| |
| | a "Wha...?" double-take, you stop the
|
| going to a job interview and answering
| |
| | reader, catch the error, and change it,
|
| questions about what skills you bring to
| |
| | right then and there, in the pit stop.
|
| the job by crying that you need to feed
| |
| | Before you mail it-again-re-read and
|
| your kids. How does your need qualify
| |
| | revise. Re-read and revise.
|
| you? It doesn't.
| |
| | ___12. Mail the entry-the application
|
| ___And/or, forget the "I was neglected,
| |
| | (with nothing left blank), the check (not
|
| abused, poor, hungry, ugly, fat..."
| |
| | blank), and the essay (cleaned and
|
| opener. Same lecture as above applies
| |
| | polished)--before the deadline...in
|
| here, too. Unless...
| |
| | plenty of time for the university readers
|
| ___You can turn the negative into a
| |
| | to read it, laugh over it, cry over it
|
| positive. If you have to be real, and
| |
| | (which does happen-I have cried over the
|
| the victim thing is part of your story,
| |
| | top essays that got Sarah, Tino, Helen,
|
| show how that pain/struggle/torture
| |
| | and many others into law school, computer
|
| contributed to who you are today and to
| |
| | tech school, business school, and more),
|
| what you bring to the school. But do it
| |
| | and except you...I mean, accept you.
|
| later in the essay and do it in passing,
| |
| | Now get your motor running and win that
|
| in mention, in brief...and then move on.
| |
| | race.
|
| So, how do you open a personal statement?
| |
| |
|
